Unexpected Transformations
by angel.at.midnight
Summary: “What? You don’t think Megan Fox is hot? Dude, you have no hormones. You probably don’t even shave.” Scowl. “Eh, Naruto, I think you went too far…” Oneshot. Sasusaku.


Unexpected Transformations

by angel. at. midnight

"What? You don't think Megan Fox is hot? Dude, you have no hormones. You probably don't even shave." Scowl. "Eh, Naruto, I think you went too far…" Half crack + half romance = Team Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I would like to think that the details of the plot at least are original, and if they are similar to those of an existing story, I apologize greatly, but I did not try to steal anyone's ideas.

Read and review, please and thank you!

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Three of Konoha's most talented and deadly shinobi strode in the dark streets. Few people were still out at this time of night; those who were knew better than to get in the way of these elite fighters. A thin sliver of moon was all that illuminated the silent, seemingly peaceful scene.

"Duuude! That movie was totally awesome!" Konoha's number one loudest ninja shattered the quietness with his earsplitting exclamation.

"I know! It was definitely worth waiting in line for six hours to see the midnight showing," Naruto's pink-haired teammate enthusiastically agreed. Sakura turned to her other companion and one-time crush. "Did you like it, Sasuke-kun?"

"Hn. It was completely unrealistic," he deadpanned.

"Aw, come on Sasuke, Revenge of the Fallen was too good to be a letdown, even for you!" Naruto insisted.

"Given how bad the first one was, there's no way the sequel could have been worse."

"That's not what I meant!"

"Guys, calm down. There's no need to be arguing about whether it was better than the first Transformers. Why don't we just talk about what we liked about it? I personally _loved_ Shia LaBeouf's acting," Sakura said, trying to keep the two nearly grown men from getting into a pointless fight.

Sasuke scoffed. "I can't see what you liked about it. He screamed like a girl."

Naruto snickered behind his hand. "Sasuke's jealous!"

"Che. Of him? He couldn't even fight off that crazy robot girl. His girlfriend had to do it for him."

Sakura glared. "That's why I said he's a great _actor_. And that just goes to show that girls _can_be stronger than guys." Sasuke raised an eyebrow at this comment. There was _no way_ any girl could be stronger than he was. Well, maybe Sakura when she was mad...nah. It was pretty close, but she still wouldn't be able to beat him.

"Hey, hey, speaking of the girlfriend, did you guys _see_ Megan Fox? Man, she looked even better than in the first Transformers!" Naruto stood in the street staring off into space with a mesmerized look on his face. Sakura grimaced. There was drool running down his chin. She sighed and smacked his head.

"Ow! What was that for?!" the blonde yelled, rubbing the sore spot on the side of his head.

"You looked even more stupid than you usually do, baka."

"Hey! Take that back, Sasuke-teme!"

Sakura pushed the two away from each other. "Seriously, stop it with the yelling. There are people who are sleeping at this time of night, you know."

The two shinobi sulked but didn't dare to say anything, seeing Sakura's fists glow green.

Naruto put his hands behind his head. "So what were we talking about? Hm…oh yeah! Megan Fox!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Why are you're so obsessed with her? She's just another actress."

He stopped walking once he realized that his friends weren't beside him. Sasuke turned around, only to see both Naruto and Sakura staring at him incredulously. "What?" he asked, feeling slightly uncomfortable at their scrutiny.

"Did you really say what I think you said?" Naruto asked.

"How am I supposed to know what you think I said, dobe? You've already proven that you're stupid. You're probably deaf too."

Naruto chose to ignore the second part of Sasuke's response. The situation before him was of greater concern than Sasuke's insults.

"I thought I heard you say that Megan Fox is 'just another actress'." Naruto spoke each word slowly as if talking to a toddler. Sasuke held back the urge to punch Naruto in the head and instead settled for letting out a quiet sigh of impatience.

"Yes, that's what I said. Why are you staring at me like that?"

For a moment, everything was quiet. Then Naruto exploded. "Are you crazy, Sasuke?! She's not just another actress! She's one of the hottest women in the world! I can't believe you're acting so uninterested in her! Really, you--"

Sasuke cut into Naruto's rant. "I'm not _acting_ uninterested. I just happen to not be attracted to her. At all. And you're the one who's crazy, rambling on about random girls."

Sakura silently giggled as Naruto's face turned red. "I'm telling you, she's not a random girl! Seriously man, anyone who doesn't think she's attractive is crazy!" He paused, and a thoughtful look crossed his face. Both Sasuke and Sakura were slightly frightened by this. Naruto didn't _think_ about things; he just went and _did_ them.

"Actually, now that I think about it, you might not be crazy." Sasuke's eye twitched. Of course he wasn't crazy; the dobe had just been too stupid to realize that until now. "In _your_ case, the reason you don't like Megan Fox is because you don't have hormones. You probably don't even shave!" Naruto nodded his head intelligently and grinned.

Sasuke's eyes widened for a moment as he nearly choked on his own spit. Then his face darkened into an angry scowl. Naruto apparently didn't notice the waves of killing intent directed towards him, as he was still smiling brightly with his eyes closed. Sakura, however, nervously crept to his side and whispered, "Naruto, I think you overdid it this time."

"Hm? Whaddya mean, Sakura-chan?" he asked obliviously. Then he opened his eyes and saw the murderous look on Sasuke's face. "Do you want to say that again, baka?" Sasuke snarled.

Naruto squeaked and darted behind Sakura. "Sakura-chaaan! Don't let him get to me! I'm too young to die!"

Sakura laughed loudly in an attempt to relieve the tension, but half of her was truly laughing at the sight of an eighteen-year-old shinobi hiding behind her like a child. "You know Naruto, you deserve some sort of punishment for talking about another girl like that. Think about how Hinata would feel about this."

"Aw, she knows I'm not serious when I talk about this kind of stuff. Hey, hey, speaking of Hinata-chan, I have a date with her at Ichiraku for breakfast tomorrow! Er, I mean today. Yeah! So I gotta go get some sleep so I'll be wide awake when I meet up with her! Later guys!" Naruto sped off towards his apartment. "And Sasuke-teme, Megan Fox _is_ hot! Don't try to deny it!" he yelled back.

Sasuke huffed and continued walking. Sakura giggled at her two teammates' antics and caught up with Sasuke. He was still frowning slightly, but he no longer had the look of a killer on his face. Thinking about what Naruto had said earlier, Sakura laughed again.

Sasuke spared her a sideways glance. "What?"

Sakura couldn't seem to stop giggling. "Oh, nothing. It's just that when I think about it, Naruto had a point. You're the most clean-shaven guy I know. Even when we go on missions, you never start growing a beard or anything. And none of us have ever actually _seen_ you shave, so not having hormones is actually a possibility for you."

A scowl reappeared on Sasuke's face. "Ever wonder what I do when I'm awake before you guys?" he grumbled. "And you're supposed to be a medic. It isn't really possible for me not to have homones, considering my height." He looked down a ways to see the top of Sakura's head. "Shorty," he smirked.

It was Sakura's turn to scowl. "Hey, I'm not all that short. You're just freakishly tall."

The smirk didn't leave Sasuke's face. "Whatever, keep dreaming."

Sakura continued glaring as they walked towards her house until she remembered what had led to the idea of Sasuke lacking hormones.

"Ne, Sasuke-kun, do you really not think that Megan Fox is attractive?" she asked curiously.

Sasuke sighed in annoyance. What was up with everyone around him being unable to accept that he didn't have any interest in the actress?

Sakura continued rambling. "I mean, even Ino says that Megan Fox is gorgeous, and you know how Ino thinks of herself as the most beautiful person in the world."

She could barely see her teammate shrug in the dim light. "She's not my type," he said simply.

Without thinking, Sakura asked, "Then what is your type?" When she realized what she had said, her cheeks turned as pink as her hair and she covered her mouth with her hands, shocked with herself for so carelessly asking Sasuke such a personal question.

Sasuke didn't say anything, and Sakura sighed. She hadn't really been expecting an answer from him anyway.

"Kunoichi." Sakura stared at him for a moment, surprised that he had answered. Then she raised an eyebrow. His response hadn't really revealed anything; it seemed obvious that Sasuke would only consider being with a skilled ninja. He might as well have not said anything.

As if he had read her mind, Sasuke smirked and said, "Smart and strong." Sakura rolled her eyes. Just about all the kunoichi she knew were tough, intelligent girls; if they hadn't been, there was no way they could have survived some of the missions they were assigned to.

"Green eyes." Now _there_ was something more substantial—wait. Sakura's apple-green eyes widened in something like panic as her heart began to race. The fact that she was nervous frightened her—even though deep down she still loved Sasuke, she knew better than to get her hopes up. She had grown up from the lovesick girl she had been five years ago. _There are plenty of girls with green eyes_, Sakura reasoned. _Like…well, Tenten has hazel eyes; I'm pretty sure that counts. And then there are… more people I just can't remember at the moment—_

"Pink hair." Sasuke stopped walking and turned to Sakura, who was frozen with shock. What surprised her most was that Sasuke wasn't smirking or laughing. Instead, his expression was completely serious, and in the moonlight, his eyes seemed to soften as he looked at her. With a tiny smile—not a smirk, a _real_ smile—he bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"Goodnight, Sakura," he whispered, then disappeared into the night.

Sakura stood in the street for several minutes, not quite able to believe what had just happened. Then she blinked and looked around as if finally realizing that she was still outside in the cold. She smiled softly, seeing that Sasuke had walked her right in front of her house. As Sakura unlocked the door, she noticed that a single red rose had been slid into the handle. The small piece of paper attached to the flower said, in his small, neat writing, _From Sasuke_. Sakura smiled and walked inside, holding the rose to her heart.

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Here's some fluff for you guys. I tried to make it kinda funny and not too sappy, hope you liked it! Inspired by a guy asking my kid brother if he thought Megan Fox was hot, and my teacher telling a classmate that he needed hormones in order to grow a beard. First fic, so review please! :)


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